Football Daily | You want proper football? Here are the FA Cup first-round ties to look out for

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now! For the FA Cup, the early rounds are the juice. The first round proper to be played out over the long weekend is looking, well, proper. And on Saturday at 3pm GMT, a proper time, 31 ties will kick off. No VAR, either. At the stage when the bottom two Football League divisions join the competition, focus remains on those non-league clubs fighting for the honour of the pyramid … John Aloisi winning or choking the Chinese Super League, a league so ‘super’ that nine of all 16 clubs in it started the season on negative points due to ‘match-fixing, gambling and corruption’ by the way, and the league leaders not even scoring a single goal in seven hours, is really not something to lay upon someone with a bad hangover. Apropos of nothing, if anyone has any objections to my views on the Chinese Super League, please address any correspondence to: Mr K Mbappé, Madrid (there’s no point two of us getting into trouble)” – Noble Francis. As a man of a certain age frequently being reminded of how out of date I am, the recent readers’ letters regarding technical solutions to shirt-pulling (Football Daily letters passim) concerns triggered distant memories. In late 1991 I was working in the Patents Advice Centre, Newcastle Central Library. A gentleman asked for help to possibly patent an ‘invention’: a football shirt with the seams held together by Velcro, so that any tug would ‘open’ the seam and provide clear evidence to the referee of illegal cloth gathering. As I helped him search for possible equivalent innovations in our paper database (yes kids!) we chatted amiably until I asked how he had come to this seemingly simple yet brilliant innovation. He paused, reddened and began to exhale with elevated pressure: ‘Did you see Arsenal the other night? Tony Adams? Disgraceful. It should never be allowed! In fact, with this shirt it won’t be, and Arsenal will have to learn to defend decently!’ Happy memories, obviously irrelavant…